The Only Way Out – Is through

When it feels too big to hold

When the screams begin to rise

And the rage becomes consuming

The grief and mourning of a life lost rumbles to the surface

When it feels to big too hold

We write

We draw

We paint in giant strokes

We dance, we storm, we thump our chest

Waving our arms

We scream, and cry and rage in our own and private space

The rage, anger, sadness and grief

We

Let

It

Out

When it feels too big to hold

When it feels like I’m sure I’m dying

I knew that if I could go through this

That would be my magic key

To the kingdom of the rest of my life.

I knew this was the only way

To fall on the floor

Split from my groin

To my head.

In two.

Completely decimated

Bloody soul, torn in two

Ripped apart from the core of my being.

I thought I would die.

But this.

THIS.

Was the beginning of my life.

This was the freedom I’d been waiting for.

This was WHO I’d been waiting for.

My knight in shining armor.

The savior of my soul.

This was me.

Freed from the bondage of bullshit

Telling me that my feelings were wrong.

That I was not allowed to speak my pain

Or release the shame

Put on me by those who had shamed me.

This was my way out.

This was my magic.

This was the only way out.

To go through.

Related: When It Feels Like Your Dying

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