Crying woman, feeling helpless

Do you sometimes (or even most times) feel as though you are waiting for someone’s permission to make a decision or take action?

Do you feel afraid of making your own decisions or taking your own actions?

Do you vacillate back and forth, indecisive? Feel as though you made the wrong decision if you made a decision in your own?

shy-hispanic-girl-280x280Feel like a child waiting to get “caught” by disapproving parents or worried that someone in your life will criticize the choices you have made?

Do you feel stuck? Frozen? Have an unmanageable feeling of being hopeless and helpless for anything better? As though no matter what you do you can never do it “right enough” and will never be quite “enough”? Do you have wants, wishes and dreams yet feel unable to move your life forward?

I did too. For a very long time. And as I traveled this path I realized that this was part of the conditioning of the drama, trauma and dysfunction that I came from and was recreating in my adult life and relationships.

It can feel like this is soooo big and affects our lives in soooo many ways.

Yet – anything that is broken down into smaller pieces can be conquered and changed. 

Beginning with awareness of these feelings AND connecting it to my past experiences; that I had learned that no matter what I did I could never do it right enough. That no matter how hard I tried, I was never “enough”.

Connecting the dots to the first time I felt this way allowed me to see beyond the idea that something was “wrong” with me but that something had happened TO me that caused me to learn to feel worried, fearful and insecure; to respond to life this way and not have the sense of self or confidence or self-esteem necessary to live an “empowered” life.

Then – learning to build myself up instead of tearing myself down.

Using positive self affirming statements like “I CAN and I AM doing this” and “I AM amazing” to over ride the programming and quiet the voices if those in my deepest memories that told me I was otherwise.

And doing this FOR myself instead of waiting for someone else to do it for me. 

Then – limiting and starting to separate and remove myself from relationships that put me down or needed to remind me how incapable or stupid I was.

We don’t need anyones permission any more.

The hardest part was learning to recognize that this is what I was doing when I couldn’t do anything. conquered-290x290

It’s the small steps like this that are the “daily grind” of changing our lives.

You can do this – and you don’t have to do it alone.

I’m always glad to see you and welcome your notes – join the conversations on the Facebook page here.

As always…

Thank you for liking, linking and sharing!

 

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