“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
― Maya Angelou.
I started to write a longer, wordy post about this quote and – in the end it came down to this for me:
Stop trying to make relationships work – that aren’t working.
In other words, be true to yourself by believing what you see and experience over what others tell you is real.
When a “friend” keeps making excuses… uh..umph….excuse me, I mean reasons why they missed your date, didn’t call you back, weren’t there when they said they would be there…
Or we keep experiencing the same kind of crazy that comes when we are trying to get our emotional needs met in relationships where emotions are not allowed…
Or find ourselves wondering – why does this keep happening to me?
See where I’m going with this one?
Many of us who are SRBT’s* or otherwise experienced family dysfunction or craziness often feel responsible to work things out… even when it is clearly not working out.
We take on responsibility for making everyone happy, keeping the peace… not “rocking the boat”…. often at the very high price of our own sanity as what we experience as hurtful – or even abusive – is denied or in some way minimized.
Its easy for us to believe something is “wrong” with US because SRBT’s* have often been conditioned in family dysfunction or abuse to believe they are the magical, all powerful GOD who is in charge of keeping everyone happy even if it means for us to be miserable.
So today… try on the idea of “Be true to yourself” just once.
Take it for a test drive and see how good it feels to walk away from those situations and relationships that just aren’t working.
It was when I stopped believing that when things weren’t working was because I wasn’t working hard enough… that I had to figure out how to be good enough that I finally understood that I very simply was enough.
I was learning to trust myself instead of blindly trusting everyone – and being hurt when they wouldn’t or couldn’t reciprocate in relationships.
You are a rockstar… don’t believe ’em when they try to tell you otherwise – k?
Anyone who says you are anything BUT a Rock Star:)
Here’s to ringin’ those bells and rockin those boats!
ps….letting go of the hope for things to “work out” is the hardest part….honest:)
Once I got past this I understood that it was this hope that held me back from my real hope for a better future.
*SRBT’s = Survivors of Really Bad Things (are amazing!)
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Always, always in gratitude!
Originally published December 12. 2011 here.